suckie

hmms.

everythiing iis trying its best to hit onto e riight path?

ii guess so.

it's niice to hear that.

but ii dunno how long im going to take.

haiis.

depression iis much better today ii guess.

though lesson still sucked alot.

im lyk heading to hell every single day in e morning wiif my bag & books.

more & more F word are coming out from my mouth each day.

ii din't want that.

ii dun lyk vaugarities either.

but jus couldn't help it.

ii seriously feel much better,much destress everytym ii use vugal.

so sad huhs.

.

im getting so pissed by my school work each day.

though ii does not have much of em.

but it's still so taxing.

ii dunno why.

band is not that pleasing anymore.

going to band used to be my only happinese in sch.

ii dun see that anymore.

things dun work out that way anymore.

ii still love music.

but ii've lost my sense of belonging to e sch.

sch took our spirits away.

that's wad ii felt.

never-the-less.

ii still hope that things can turn out to be in proper once agaiin.

.

feel real stressed up wiif school work recently.

bloody hell.

ii knew exams iis getting nearer.

ii dun need any bloody ass to remind & keep stressing me on that.

ii know wad to do.

& ii want to get started.

but ii jus cant help it.!

jus couldn't focus for even 20mins.

even iif ii really wanted to,

or tried to.

ii felt so suckiie.

feel lyk wondering away.

ii dun see any future now seriously.

yea.

only dead ends.

ii dun wanna fail my sec3.

ii told my pals about wad i'll do iif i really fail.

& im serious.

im not okay,

not at all.

so,stop asking me iif im okay,

when u simply cant do anything wiif it.

yar.

it's a total of useless.

dream come true.

yea,bull shit.

.

hahas.

ii dunno why.

but ii can sense my pals thinking that iim stubbon.

simply a pain in e ass.

so sorry for letting u feel that way.

ii dunno why im so negatiive either.

ii dint want to be lyk dat either.

who wants hell when they can achieve heaven?

all these started aft e bloody woo incident.

ppl ask me,

why ii jus can't adapt to these minor changes?

ii dunno.

im born this way, so sad.

.

ii felt that things are diff now.

it will never ever get back to wad it used to be.

since e very very starting.

how my heart was broken into pieces.

see how much trouble you've bought into my f**king life.

even iif im given wad ii want now,

it still wont be wad ii want.

so; i feel lost now.

ii dunno wad to do.

lost in space.

ailien,bring me away!

.

haiiisss..

there's nth in liife that's pleasing me.

ii want smth nice.

ii want a boyfriend.

ii want a loving family.

ii want good results.

.

sounds so easyy yet so difficult to achieve.

sucks sia.

my "werid werid" deasease is back.

once agaiin questioning,

[iif ii just dissapear out of no where,

will anyone giive a damn?]

.

.

&& ii seriously dun lyk it when people says that ii behaved lyk ah lian.

oh please. full of shit.

kill me please.

.

____imsuckie .

& yes,im weak .