darn

darn.

wad on earth are we doiing man...

are we goiing to waste liife jus lyk this?

sryy. im not.

ii have spoken my appoligies...

im sincerlyy sorry....

ii think we have really deep misunderstandings...

wether iif we r able to solve anyy...

ii dunno...

haiis...

iif u seriously dun wiish to do anything bout it...

im fine wif it too...

let's jus stayy as a hi & bye frwn....

fiine enough?

neiither do ii wan to treat u as a enemy...

oh yah...

& iits all my faults...

to creat all these unwanted troubles...

*90degree bow*

.

my last regrads to my best frwn :

studyy hard!

ii alwayys know that u can do it..

mid-yr is round e corner...

do ya best.....

stay happy...

& never giive up your passion...

no matter how hard iszzit going to be...

maybe nxt yr..

to cope in ya studies & at e samn tym as e leader of ur dance...

make sure u hang on there...

ii send my best regards to you...

(ii may sounds so hypocrites here.)

you may say.yucks...

gross or wad-so-ever..

but ii sayy all these wiif my fullest..

wether u are going to giive a damn to iit..

ii have done my part.

.

__Love comes & go,

but friendship iis forever...

iszzit really that true?or its jus another lie...

....FUCK

this is shit yea?

DAMN YOU!

Liies..

stayy angryy please....

ii was fooliish,once agaiin...

doiing things lyk this...

don't forgiive me...

im not worth it

waahah

ii had a great niight todayy...

went for diinner wiif e MEES...

we ate at sakae...

hmms...

although very far lahh...

hahas..

we went all e wayy to west mall...

but if so fun,and niice...

hmms...

met e 3 of em at hougang...

then we took BUS dwn to woodlands...

den took MRT down to bukit batok?(iszzit?)

hahas...

den on e wayy to woodlands..

we do lots of crappy stuffs on e bus...

wahahas....

ii thiink e bus uncle hate us!

lols.

.

den meet e other 2 at sakae..

ate okiie onlyy

not sayy alot..

after eating...

4 of us manage to catch a moviie...

200-POUND BEAUTYY!

I will complete my post asap!

anyway ii doupted so anyone reading..hahas..

its so dead,though its alive...

im insignificant.

=DD

hahas!

dunno whyy im HAPPY todayy...

hahas...

ii know im werid werid werid...

thanks ying,my beef !

she iis one reason that made me SMILE!

anyway...

hahs...so funni

in chinese class..

my chinese teacher ask us to do test...

then mus seprate tables...

then ii ignored...

..she came and knocked on y table...

& suddenly says..

"sorry lah,i need ur to separate ur tables,*shocked* wah,why u so sad?Dun be sad lah..."

([turn to ying]"look at her face,why she so sad?")

am i sad?

haha...

ii dunno...

having bad moodswing recently..

which ii dun even notic..

DUMBASS....ii not sad lah!

hahas...

so funni..

then when she says so..

ii feel quite dwn...

then aft that that moron cheered me up...

hahas...

ii m okie!

.

fine...

besides that...

todayy went back to band for e first tym aft e result.

haiish..

sad..

so bad lahhs..

sort of dint expect Er would sayy such thingy...

but ii totally agree wiif it lahhs.

todayy ish e day i had been looking forward to..

yet afarid to...

yepps...

at fiirst go for e stupiid outdoor filming for sch song?

then ii areadyy sense got ' ShaQi '...

iindeed Er ask me got video phone to film him later dwn...

when he give his speech..

bad bad...

then say negatiive stuffs lyk dun wanna teach us le...

haiish...

POSITIVE please....

then indeed...

during band kenna so much naggings...

and scoldings too...

sobs..

ii agreed wiif wad he say..

we did not achieved wad we wanted...

is all because of ourselevs..

we cannot blame e judging this yr..

...haiis..

so wad to do?

jus jiayou & move on...

ii want to do better!

for end of yr concert...

we're going to giive our best shot yea?

yes ii do...

Do you??

so lets jus puck up...

and put those scoldings frm Er asiide first...

dun get discouraged...

& never giive up!!!

Lets show him that we are people who wont GIVE UP!!!!

ii seriious wanna to see our GOLD agaiin...

godz

ii feel so TERRIBLE..

godz...

this is bad for sure...

haiish..

heard that bad lucks comes 3 in a row..

does BIG blow does that too?

ii jus had my second BIG blow todayy...

im sad..

ii saw him wif her..

omg...

& iim jus telling beef...

that thiis would be my worst worst niightmares iif it really happens...

& now my niightmare came true...

haiiz...

Whyy are my niightmares comming true now-a-dayys?

_ii shall not believe iin wiishes & faith anyymore..

it hurts more...

it seriously do...

let's move on...

__trust me...iit's jus dissapointments,one after another....

hmm

ii had linked up all e people who asked me to...

hahas..

it took me a long long tym..

oh,and yea,

ii made a wadever ' truefrwn test ' try it!

loves e mees

people...

ii m sorry for e previous post...

iim jus a dumbass who couldn't take some lil' dumb thingy...

perhabs ii should take dwn e post...

hmms...

ii m okie...=)

ii should agree wiif wad mee-yiing said...

yes! C'mon

get matured..

Mayy....C'mon.

be strong....

hahas..yes!

who cares...

so what theres lyk totally no one who cares bout my feelings...

move on....

untill ii found one. =D

.

We,The Mees of e band...

pledge ourselve to be strong no matters what happens.

Regardless of failure or discriminations..

we will still move on...

And show e world we can make it!

We will built our strong nxt generation well!

.

hahas...

lols...

dunno how ii came out wiif this crap.

__iim going to stay strong..

no wapon built against me shall prospers..

....

.....

ii thought..

ii seriously thought that everything is okiie todayy..

ii tried to look happy..

ii think ii did it..

smiling all e way...

ii was pleased..

to see e smiles on their face once agaiin..

my dearests seniors....

.

ii thought ii could get over it easily..

ii was wrong..

deeply wrong..

.

ii saw their blog..

all e alumni's..

they said they dun mind...

ii strongly believed that its JUST to make up feel better...

theyy sounded lyk they had given up on us...

we dont want that seriously..

im sorry...

ookiie..

ii know its no point saying all these..

but it seriously broke my heart.

ii feel so terrible once agaiin...

who can ii go to?

im sorry..!

we are useless..

ii seriously dunno wad else i can say...

ii feel real bad.. & nth else.

ii knew..

u guys rather stayy at 2000-2006...

when YOU are a gold band...

ii detest that..

yes.

ii got no right to comment anything..

ii seriously feel devestated...

ii know u guys are sad..

.but how can ur doupt our feelings?

of couse we would feel as sad..

do u guys really think that we dun care?

then what is the effort for?

omg..

ii really dunno wad to say..

ii hated myself more then anything for not able to mantain e efforts u guys put in...

but what do you want us to do?

ii guess u guys had disowned us..

ii've got nth to say.

i m sad.

ii serious cant believe my eyes when ii see all those written..

it broke my heart into pieces...

we were jus so insignifican to u people yea?

jus tell me staright into my face...

and ii will jus get lost.

u people are selfish.

u guys had ur wonderful memories in e past..

when ur achieved wad u guys want.

but us?

we cant even own a plesent memory.

u think we will feel good?

u think we are cold-bloded animals?

or jus so farkin hack care?

u are definately wrong about this..

ii strongly nelieve that nobody feels good...

even those juniors we had.

its gone.

iszzit really gone?

so u guys had given up on us yea?

.

ii couldn't take it..

once again broke dwn...

feeling so helpless and lost..

it's terrible to be gave up on..

__what can ii do?

ii felt lyk getting knock dwn by a car.

then all troubles would be ended.

ii hate e silver

haiish..

ii seriously feels terrible...

nobody feel good....

ii had a serious thought today..

ii have been feeling real lousy and disgusted by what we've got...

ii wad dried up ytd....

it was such a let down...

to so many people...

iim sorry...

ii agreed and simply disgree with a number of people....

hmms...

its not e wayy iif we jus feel so depress & giive up....

its no point for us to cry & cry...

+Stay Positive+

although this is close to impossible to some of us...

but we must try our best...

we cannot giive up alriight?

jus lyk wad Er says...

we MUST show e world that we are a GOLD band...

we must never heads down to e silver we've got...

we must still hang on!

I TOTALLY AGREE on wad elicia wrote...

WE ARE NOT A SILVER BAND!
Definitely NOT...

Amen!

YES!
we're going to kick it away e coming nxt 2 yrs...

YES?

my juniors promiised to get it back for us~!

ii believed in them...

although despite all these...

iim still having this thoughts in me...

Why must it be us?

Why our batch?

ii feel so bad...

devastated...

ii seriously cant wait to get this silver we got jus OUT of our band...

ii hate it...

seriously disgusted by it...

never e less..

we are going to do better yea?

ii knew we dint perform well in that 14 minutes...

but we are capable to do it..

ii strongly believe it...

it's jus that in e crucio 14 mins...

things cocked u plast mins...

yea?

Miighty Horniists..

ii will not give up...

ii hope,seriously hope that none of ur would...

ii loves u giirls seriously...

don't lost e passion iin music alriight?

.

ii seriously dont lyk to see u people sad...

this morning when ii step in sch...

ii knew we're going to have a hard tym todayy..

ii saw my fellow band mate...

ii hate it!

ii saw u people with swallon eyes...

frowning all e way..

ii feel soo sour within...

seriously dun feel good...

ii dun lyk to see u guys sad...

especially my hornists...

ii m sorry iif im contributing in to make ur more sad...

but dun be so sad alright?

ii dun feel good...

seriously dont...

Jessica....

JIAYOU.....

.

u make me teared more...

Because iim heartach to see u guys sad..

.

May!

Do not cry over this again!

It near to impossible...

but ii will try to do it...

today will be e last tym ii broke dwn & cry during lesson...

and peeps,mates...

pls dun tok bout it agaiin...

okiie?

it's jus lyk sprinkling salt in my wound...

let it heal would u...

.

once agaiin...

ii would lyk to appoligies to this people..:

.

Mr er...

ii know u dun feel good either...

we are sorry for not able to do well for this 14 mins...

but we promised....

not to giive up...

and to hang on there!

never e less....

you are still my idol!

wahahas...

once agaiin...

GoGoJiayou for sq~

.

DingXiang Shifu...

so sorry to let all e mees down...

but no worries...

we will Jiayou de yea?

haha..

stay lame!

bulit up e nxt generation bahhs...

.

Miighty Horniists...

dun frown alriight?

lets puckup...

cheer each other up...

ii promis ii will do that..

xueying & fion...

enjoyy and cheriish our last few moments together...

alriight...

promise to come back when u all got chances...

NOT TO SEE...

but to join us...

for e eoy concert...

iif not ii will feel helpless...

Jessica....

puck up...

once agaiin jiayou...

we will do our best at eoy concert yea?

and nxt yr..

we must train up e best hornists of all right?

and to continue our wonderful generation...

JIAYOU!!

precious Simin & peiyun...

jiayou okie?

u all promised to get it back for us yea?

dint meant to stress ur...

but ii trust ur...

jus do ur best...

we're going to work well together in this 1 yr dwn e road...

kampate!

built up our nxt generation well!

ii loves u giirls...

u r e one who brighten up my dayys....

it's u giirls that make me wanna puck up & be passionate...

.

ii have decided to do smth for e band...

ii want to do smth!

1st of all is to commite my all to it!

ii must also try my best to gear up e band...

firstly...

ii must puck up myself..

thats e first step to making em feel better!

JIAYOU CVMB....

I LOVES U ALL!

.

ii still need to say sry for people lyk chyn...

ii serioulsy feel that ii let u dwn....

sorry!

ii tried my best!

.

jiayou all juniors!

mr er...

dun giive us up too...

__so sad but yet so determind..

haish

Haish..

People...

iim okiie for this few dayys areadyy...

hahas...

thanks for all e comfortiing ii got frm a few of my frwns...

.

.

Godz...

ii was stressed up by band le....

arghs...

going insane..

ii seriouslyy wanna strike...

ii put my heart & liife in...

haiiz...

wad to do..

ii prayy lord~!

ii pray real hard...

Let our effort & hard works pay off wiif good results pls...

Bless us wiif what we always wanted...

let's rejoice iin advance yea?

thank god for everything he gave....

hms...

1 more day left...

tmr iis e day to get ourselves mentally prepared...

yea?

lets get real ready for our war kz...

hmms...

we can do it de!!

CVMB...GoGo JiaYoU!!!!!!

__ii need you & ii loves you..

terrible

..i feel terrible recently..

it's not a plesent week..

Things are going wrong,really wrong..

smth within me brokes...

can u imaging that i actually broke dwn during lesson?

hmms....

nobody can,hahas..

not even myself..

hahas,thank god that besides her,

nobody actually see what happens...

im sad.

besides that?

i really dunno wad word to use.

but it's not as simple as that..

this tym round is different..

i believed...

it's tougher then wad ii actually pictured..

what changes me so much?

ii really dunno..

i thought ii m a strong girl?

even iif i tried to be one...

but wads so wrong this tym round?

i can't break down so easily..

they need me to hang on there....

im e only one,who can pull them through,,

but who can help me??

hmms...

good question..

many many things are piled unto me...

heavy ones..

i m so weary...

tired...

i want to give up.

but i knew i can't..

i dun lyk the feeling when ii step into this home everyday..

be it iif there's anybody at home..

never for once i felt nice..

safe,or secure..

ii pity myself..

ii dun want to cry!

i promised not to cry..

i want to stay strong..

but wads so wrong wif me this few days?

i cry over nth..

seriously nth...

i hate it...

why iszzit me?

.

xy..

i seriously envy you alot alot..

you've got sisterswho never fails to lend u the lisening ears at all tyms...

you have many trusted frwns around you...

so loved..

it's really nice to have you as my frwn..

i seriously appreaciate that..

.

anyway...

i m really breaking down...

feeling so tired...

i really dunno wad ii can do,

or who ii can turn to..

jus simply no one there for me...

i m afaird..

ii misses the old days..

ii misses church...

but....

ii dun denie that my faith was shaken...

but standind ground was no longer there...

ii want to turn back to Him...

but how to?

it dun seems difficult to you people at all..

but it's not easyy....

ii need a break...

ii seriously do....

it's crushing me....

everything is so heavyy...

.

i want to do well in my studies...

as not to let her down...

but i don't have a smart brain.

i tried..

it's adding to e weight im carrying...

really.

.

ii feel sour..

really sour..

ii really pray for someone that ii can turn to...

who will always lend me e lisening ears i needed...

.

ii yearned for your concerns..

jus abit will do...

but i recieved nth.

.

__it's really tough.but i promised to hang on.