/...

haiis.
ii hope iim lyk getting over all these crap?
hmms.
but thinking of it makes me real siick.
jus nw jess told me.
mom asked her to motivated me to studyy.
as for why she did not tell me herself.
iis dat she find it useless.
ii dunno lehs.
she knows me.
ii think that's e wayy too.
siian sian.
=((
hmmmms.......
haiis.
stress.
ii dunno what i'll be played as.
im felt jus lyk a pathatic chess.
being placed at somewhere each step.
where would ii be e nxt 1?
place me in hell?
lols.
okayy.
not e tym to be so negatiive..
ii want a better liife!
it sucks now..
seriously do..
.
tym NOT to be so sick.
okayy.
as for now.
iim at Mitchell.
staying over here.
ii dunno iif i've made a riight choiice.
im wearyy riight now.
afaird.
of what will happened nxt.
maybe my chess board would be folded up,
& threw riight iinto e dustbin.
hoho.
who knows......
.
haiiya.
ii dun understand siia.
whyy is everything so suckiie for me?
or iszzit jus dat only im e 1 seeing it lykdat?
ii feel very very guilty seriously..
now ii know.
my mom iis concern.
for my studiies.
ii feel worse seriiously.
hmms.
okay.
made up my miind.
be a good giirl giirl frm todayy onwards...
yepps.
todayy will be e last dayy ii having fun...
.........aft exams!
im glad dat people care for my result actually.
& it also means....
stress stress!!
.
God..
Dont let me feel given up my many.
ever agaiin...
please please.

suckie

hmms.

everythiing iis trying its best to hit onto e riight path?

ii guess so.

it's niice to hear that.

but ii dunno how long im going to take.

haiis.

depression iis much better today ii guess.

though lesson still sucked alot.

im lyk heading to hell every single day in e morning wiif my bag & books.

more & more F word are coming out from my mouth each day.

ii din't want that.

ii dun lyk vaugarities either.

but jus couldn't help it.

ii seriously feel much better,much destress everytym ii use vugal.

so sad huhs.

.

im getting so pissed by my school work each day.

though ii does not have much of em.

but it's still so taxing.

ii dunno why.

band is not that pleasing anymore.

going to band used to be my only happinese in sch.

ii dun see that anymore.

things dun work out that way anymore.

ii still love music.

but ii've lost my sense of belonging to e sch.

sch took our spirits away.

that's wad ii felt.

never-the-less.

ii still hope that things can turn out to be in proper once agaiin.

.

feel real stressed up wiif school work recently.

bloody hell.

ii knew exams iis getting nearer.

ii dun need any bloody ass to remind & keep stressing me on that.

ii know wad to do.

& ii want to get started.

but ii jus cant help it.!

jus couldn't focus for even 20mins.

even iif ii really wanted to,

or tried to.

ii felt so suckiie.

feel lyk wondering away.

ii dun see any future now seriously.

yea.

only dead ends.

ii dun wanna fail my sec3.

ii told my pals about wad i'll do iif i really fail.

& im serious.

im not okay,

not at all.

so,stop asking me iif im okay,

when u simply cant do anything wiif it.

yar.

it's a total of useless.

dream come true.

yea,bull shit.

.

hahas.

ii dunno why.

but ii can sense my pals thinking that iim stubbon.

simply a pain in e ass.

so sorry for letting u feel that way.

ii dunno why im so negatiive either.

ii dint want to be lyk dat either.

who wants hell when they can achieve heaven?

all these started aft e bloody woo incident.

ppl ask me,

why ii jus can't adapt to these minor changes?

ii dunno.

im born this way, so sad.

.

ii felt that things are diff now.

it will never ever get back to wad it used to be.

since e very very starting.

how my heart was broken into pieces.

see how much trouble you've bought into my f**king life.

even iif im given wad ii want now,

it still wont be wad ii want.

so; i feel lost now.

ii dunno wad to do.

lost in space.

ailien,bring me away!

.

haiiisss..

there's nth in liife that's pleasing me.

ii want smth nice.

ii want a boyfriend.

ii want a loving family.

ii want good results.

.

sounds so easyy yet so difficult to achieve.

sucks sia.

my "werid werid" deasease is back.

once agaiin questioning,

[iif ii just dissapear out of no where,

will anyone giive a damn?]

.

.

&& ii seriously dun lyk it when people says that ii behaved lyk ah lian.

oh please. full of shit.

kill me please.

.

____imsuckie .

& yes,im weak .

..

depression.

ii threathened.

for e fiirst tym in my liife.

"i'll jump off e building & huant u forever."

.

scaryy.

lols

dun believe ii did dat eiither.

btw...who cared for me anyway.

smth suckiie badlyy happened.

.

hmms.

ii was browsing my friendster.

yeps.

den saw phe de.

& realised dat ii really missing her.

but..

ii wasn't sure of how to describe my feelings.

ii will a lack of smth.

btwn us.

but ii cant describe it. =(

.

anyway.

let me start off my post by..

Summarising what ii will say today.

lols.

(ii need to take a shower fiirst before ii continue my post!)

this is so ii wont forget wad to sayy later.

hehs

.

#1. Went grandma hs.

#2. Met up wif AILING.JESSICA.FION.HUIMIN. for movie.

#3. SECRET!

#4. the band.

#5. tmr.......

.

hohos.

okiie.

-off to bathe.- 12.47am.

.

hahas!

lets see how long ii usually take to go bathe.

(ii will spent a long tym stucked outside my mom's room' toilet.)

it's 2.57am now!

lols.

ii finished 1 moviie,

& a drama.

lols!

.

back.

#1. todayy woke up by my mom's nagging.

& my bro's irritating voices.

ii felt guilty.

e real fiirst word ii said when ii work up iis.

e F-er word.

scolded my bro.

he damn irritating.

keep tell my mom dun care me,dun wake me up.

bla bla bla.

ii hate it,

sucks.

den aft dat.

went to my grandma hs.

ii dun know wad going on either.

dey also nv tell me anything.

that's why ii wokeup late.

we were late.

they blamed me.

wtf lo.

they never tell me anything e day be4.

ass.

(iif ii knew ii would have to be stucked at ah ma ha,

ii wont go wiif em.)

.

den suddenly remebered that jess,fion det all going to watch SECRET.

so called em.

ii dun wan to waste my sat man!

met em at MRT station.

supposed to meet at HG de.

den they forgot bout me,board e train.

so change to KOVAN.

who knows,

when at KOVAN,they never board e train.

so.

iin e end we met at serangoon.

LOL.

Jess.Fion.HuiMin.Ailing.

yeps.

so we headed to PS.

den went to get SECRET,7pm tix at Cathay.

yepps.

went to play pool for an hour at 4pm.

den went Boardgame cafe for another hr.

so went to cine aft dat.

we were kiinda late.

e show started le.

den ii sat wiif a guy.

yar.

&....my popiah!

lols.

very funni.

ii bought a popiah.

den dun dare to eat,

cos e crunch would be very soundable.

so ii placed it on my lap.

den in e mid of e show.

ii heard a 'pop' sound on e floor.

MY POPIAH GONE!

lols.

whole thingy drop on e floor.

den cannot fiind.

my $1!

never eat at all lo.

lols.

so piaseh.

but heng,nobody elses saw it.

lols;

anyway SECRET iis worth my 10 bucks.

yepps.

niice & touching show.

& cine VERY COLD!

was lyk shivering aft e show.

lol.

.

den aft that.

wondered ard.

walk back PS.

window-shoped for jess' shoes.

ate dinner at pasta mania.

yeps.

den mrt-ed to buangkok.

walked back home wiif HUIMIN.

yea.

tired.

but slack till now.

lols.

.

SECRET iis a niice show man.

nice nice.

but ii guess we missed e very begaining?

saded.

anyway.

smth happened.

hehs.

Why ii dunno how to use LG choco???

wanted to type my email!

but ii typed wrongly.

(ii guessed so)

lols!

.

nahs.

not going to tok bout e band le.

damn tired riite now.

crap.

.

whoopy!

there will be another moviie session tmr for me..!

watching 881 wiif mom.

she booked tix le.

my bro iis an rritating ass!

selfiish ass.

only think of himself.

put e tyming at 3pm.

wad a suckie tyming.

we usually watch nite de.

but ii think he got things on at nite.

so he placed it at dat tym.

suckie rite.

ii want go ICE-CREAM wiif jess & kim de!

shyt.

mom also so irritating.

ii tell her den she say.

"den why dont u jus dun go movie wiif us."

wtf.

dun wan me go jui say lah.

why cannot say this to that ass?

he also got things on at niite wad.

lousyy.

unfair shyt.

.

dun care luhs.

anyway.

it's an enjoyable day wiif e giirls!

.

_____what a niice "giirls' day out!".......

w..

erms.

another casual dayy.

monday was alwayys quite pleasent.

yeahs.

but will be followed by a very tough day ahead. -.-

sian though.

hmm.

ii lyk monday now-a-days.

hehes.

school starts late.

lesson was short.

anyway.

qurraled wiif bloody hair-less old man in math lesson today.

wanna smack his race man.

cannot stand it le man..

aiiyah.

dun care.

e fucking school is useless.

.

went piizza hut wif Kim.

to find Joshua & Arthur as today it's their fiirst day at work.

ate.

realised dat they are working in e kitchen.

yeah.

so dint really see em.

so.

i've decided!

to work aft my exams.

"firstly"

must really get serious for school work man.

today saw our Eng results & where we stands.

omg.

sad to know dat im e bottom few.

saded.

so..

ii want to pass my Sec3!!

okayy.

so..

let puck up.

however.

it's always easy to say,but so hard to fulfill it.

sian~

God bless me man!

okiie.

"Secondly"

i really need to start saving up man.

hmms.

a better word to use.

to stop spending.

hehs.

that's whyy ii wanna work!!

ii want money!

ii want money!

ii want money!

haiish.

my bank iis only left wiif 5% of what it used to have.

sobs.

yepps.

uh-huh.

.

hmms.

din't want to go to sch tmr de.

haiis

ii hate Tuesday.

it sucks.really do.

yeah.

but ii failed to 'miss' school tmr lah.

& ii feel that ii should 'face' it.

time iis running out.

it's no use for me to run away from realiaity.

exams is jus a couple of weeks away.

yes.

i've to make it.

.

"Be Still, and know that im God." psalms 46:10

.

..

___ii should appreciate whatever ii owned.......

=)

bad boy.

.

hmms.

jus came back home.

went to fiind my dad.

frm my old hs dere.

he went to do e 7th month thiingy.

went wiif mom as ii wanted to study awhile.

woohs.

finally serious for once.

study abit eng & done some basic math qn in e text.

e rest all dunno how to do arghs.

yeps.

.

anyway.

i felt....

quite 遗憾?

e only word ii can think of.

as ii was out,

ii left my comp on.

yeah.

den got lot of ppl msn-ed me.

haiis.

i missed smth ii guess.

din't manage to lisent to my friend's pouring.

which im always glad to do it.

& really hope my friends could be more open to me.

feel so sad lehhs.

i missed it.

though ii got no idea of what happened.

i hope ii still can help abit.

giive me one more chance to be trusted.

come tok to me!

lol.

however.

this is e few words ii wanna share wif you,my friend:

.

aft what i've gone thur this days,

i've learned alot.

for me,

as ii said.

Love is happy

& suppose to be very 幸福 de.

but not weary.

fearful & stressful.

im sorry if im rather discouraging riight now.

but.

face reality,

giive each other a chance.

yourself too.

Love shouldn't make you feel unable to breathe.

爱到这么辛苦,到不如不要爱.

argh.

ii dunno wads wrong either.

but that's fate.

e Angle of Love (cupid) shot wrong arrow bahs.

saded.

yepps.

but nevertheless.

ii dunno wether i will do e riight thing iif ii ask u not to give up.

follow your heart.

ask God.

let his will be done.

will keep you in prayers.

(that's cheezy.)

i really hope dat both of your can be happy!

=))

dun be sad,

my friend.

.

__ii want to see your smile...

hehehs.

hehes.

another "not so sian" day ahead.

it's a saturdayy.

so..

its church day!

yepps.

wahs.

friends all ps me today.

.

woke up.

had lunch at home.

den went CP wiif mummy.

she needa do some banking.

yar.

she drove me to expo at 3.30pm.

wah...

im e first to reach.

supposed to meet at 3.45pm.

but who knows.

even e fiirst runner-up.

came only at 4.00pm..

WAH.

fine.

anyway.

Dr A.R Bernerd wasn't that bad.

hmms..

hiis preching was quite intresting & chim.

hehs.

but dunno why.

still see many people around sleeping.

lols.

.

den aft svc ended.

was deciding wether to meet kim at Vanene's chalet.

in e end.

did not.

instead.

mrt-ed to bedok Mac wiif cell.

yeps.

den played worms.

funnniii...

hahas.

yaryar.

den 87-ed home.

arh.

haha.

he was indeed an intresting BOY as ii said.

lols.

ii not Bagua!!!

.

yupps.

anyway.

nice day.

though quite sleepy.

sch starting in 1 day tiime.

sian ahs.

yeah.

.

(.actually.ii got alot alot more to share.

but!!!

jus nw ii wrote my post le.

which iis lyk 3 tyms longer then this.

den got internet error!!

den sian le.)

.

God give me strength!

.

__you're no longer in my mind,boy.

.

.

oh boy.

you make me smile,lyk a fool.

you give me joy.

you make me realise dat,

love dun create pain,pressure&sadness.

love is happy.

but.

i cant asure anything.

i feel lyk an empty flesh.

i knew nothing about love.

hohoho

hohoho.

phews.

my more then 10 hrs effort iis finally ready to show.

ii changes my blog skiin le.

ii swear.

ii spent my WHOLE niight doing it!

more den 10 hrs.

ii love it!

haiiz..

but very sad.

ii can't post e time..(ii guess?)

a few here & there to touch up.

wanna catch my sleep soon le.

it's 4.52am riight now.

yeps.

dun wan to be late for svc tmr!

nites.

__ii simply love my new blogskin! .

whee.

whee..

ii enjoyed my days!

hahas.

okiie.

2 dayys never blog le.

let's begin.

___WEDNESDAY___

NATIONAL DAY EVE!

wahahas.

hmms.

niice day.

went to sch.

den played for e parade..

very siian de lahs.

yar..

Piiang.

e dunno wad inter-class games are so dead boriing.

it's jus for e sake of wasting e students tiime..

Bloodyy hell.

yar.

Arghh~

iin e end still miss my McDonal breakfast.

fiine.

sch ended at 11am.

den went to meet same old people.

yeshh.

XinYuan.Kimmy.Arthur.Kenneth.Mitchell.JJ.Joshua.ChihRen.Jiehao

& me went bowling at kovan aft dat.

yepps.

quite fun.

yea.

but so siian.

ii so noob luhhs.

but indeed very long never play le....

.

yaya.

den a few went off.

den few of us decided to go somewhere to rott..

oh yepp.

ii suggested to go punggol park de playground..

ahahs.

so..

Me.Kimmy.Arthur.Mitchell.Joshua & chih Ren went.

played hopscott there.

hahas.

so fun luhhs.

never play before seh.

no childhood.

lols.

okiie.

quite fun.

ohohoho!

hehes.

den we played True or Dare..

wahhaha.!!

its so dumb luuhhs.

each of us did toopid thingy.

Joshua : Go to e tree,Hug it.Kiss. & shout

"I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU BABY~"

wahah.

.

Arthur : Sit beside an indian man.

Smack e leg & sing "SMACK THAT".

haha!den he go lie on e man's shoulder & say "i love you"

muhahahahas.

so funni.

.

Chih Ren : Run wiif a jogger,& do "TONGKA"

hehes.

he kenna scolded "SIAO"

.

Kimmy : ii think she went to a uncle.

& said "WA SI SOTONG".

haha.

.

Mitchell : hahahas. he run to e track across some jogging man & say "IM PENGUIN!"

.

JJ : joined in a few china man walking & say

"NI MEN HAO,DA JIA HAO".

dumb ! hahas.

.

Malu siia!

den for ME :

ii go beside a indian man,

den try to seduce him by flinging my hair & say "SO HOT (in indiian accent) "

Muhahahas.

.

so funnnn

walked home at bout 9plus?

yepps.

alone.

walk e "primary school" route

hehs.

so much memoryy.

yar.

den jus niice.

BLACKMAN kored me.

talked on my way back.

good thing got people to talk to.

hahas.

ii ageed wiif wad he saiid.

he says dat aft he left e band.

theres no more gentelmen left.

hohoho.

yar lo!

true.

Guyys.Search your soul bahhs!

hehes

.

okayy.

.THE END.

.

.

___THURSDAY___

hohoho.

NATIONAL DAY!

quite a niice & unexpected dayy.

yeahh.

met BLACKMAN at long-john for lunch be4 meetiing 'em at Parsir Ris.

yar.

Lunch-ed.

den took 88 to parsir Ris.

Met.

Arthur.Jessica.Kimmy.JJ.

Euzanne.Andyy.Michelle & friends

went to Andyy's hs for cell.

den play some weriid game.

hahas.

den me. Jess.Arthur had to do forfeit.

toopid luhhs.

arthur acted as Pregnent lady.Me doc. & jess nurse.

dumb.!

den aft cell.

arthur dey all went off.

yepps.

me & BLACKMAN joined e cell for dinner.

den aft dat go DownTownEast play pool.

Me.Michelle.Don.Kelvin & Steven.

at fiist e auntyy dun let me go iin e pool thingy de.

ii never bring my IC!

yeah

den aft dat.

managed. to go in.

she also bo bian.

yar.

den play play a bit!

so fun...

ii wan go play pool nxt tym!!

people! jio me!

yepps.

&&&!

Kelvin iin an intresting guy.

hahas.

so funni & cute lahs,his action.

fiinefiine.

den.

went to eat KFC den 89-ed home.

.

walked home from hg mall dere.

yeps.

Thankyou dat gentelmen for sending me home.

wahahas.

.

yar.

btw.

ii wanna change my blogskiin soon leh.

hohoho.

still deciding on a few of em.

yeps.

indeed quite siian wiif this old 1 le..

but but..

ii choose de few iis black blackground.

hmms.

den my past posts will have diff to view lehhs.

sian,headach..

never-the-less..

be excited for my new blogskiin.

hehs! =DD

btw,BLACKMAN iis Donavan =D

__once again,love my friiends! ..

=))

now ii realised that this iis my FIRST post for AUGUST!!!!

wahahas.

great great.

this few days.

quite a numbers of thiingy happened.

yepps.

lalala.

lols.

dunno how to start.!!

.

____Saturdayy____

iin e morning..

so damn damn angryy wiif 'em lo.

days ago ard tell em bout the day.

sayy wanna go e boardgame cafe before goiing FOP together de.

denn...

all forever de lo.

e day be4 say wanna meet at 11am at CP.

as we've to meet E98 at 12pm.

den ii woke up at 10am!!!

waiit.waiit.waiit & waiit

den at fiirst say wad jj have tuition till 12.30pm.

den okiie.

ii suggested we waiit for em lo.

den waiit till 1pm.

all dissapear.

kim.MIA.think she sleeping lo.

den.

Arthur also dissapeared.

den kor joshua.

he say wad Arthur went out find people.

den say wad.

all dun wan go e cafe le.

dammit!

very DL ard dat tym.

yar.

denn..

scolded joshua on phone & msn.

(felt bad)

& saiid wad ii dun wan care le.

den aft dat kor me again.

say meet at 2pm or smth.

forgot le.

okok.

den end,still meet em.

lol.

Me.Josh.Kim.Mitchell.Arthur & DONAVAN!

(suprised bahs.LOLS.)

yarr.

den went to e cafe.

Den go FOP.

Wahahahahahahas.

DELIRIOUS?!!!!!!!

deyy rawks man.

we all so hiigh aft hearing em singing.

ii want LYRICS!!!

lols.

yepps.

(so sad.haha.as joshua was late,together wiif Chih Ren,theyy failed to enter e hall)

ended at 10 plus plus.

ii bought delirious Album.

so niice lah

ii really lyk em alot alot.

yesh~

den wanted soo much to get their signiature de.

They dun allow me!!!!!

.

aft that walked to KALLANG MRT.

den,took last train back to Parsir Ris.

den took cab to Punggol.

den Walk frm Punggol back to home.

wah~

it's lyk S'pore Big Walk man.

walk lyk siao kia!!

reached home at 3am

but.

ThankYou BLACKMAN & joshua for walking me back.

hahas.

__niice day aft all.

DELIRIOUS? rawks~

.

.

____Sunday____

actually.

todayy supposed to meet at 2.30pm at DTE.

Me & joshua to treat Arthur for lunch.

denn in e end...

we waiited for Joshua for whole full of 3 hrs.

sitting there till 6 plus plus den joshua come..

wanted soo much to smack him ah!!

ohoh.

& btw.

Alvan happened to be near DTE.

so ii asked hiim to come over to joiin us.

indeed.

den aft that we went to TM.

go metro sales awhile.

in e end ate at Hans.

aft that.

Alvan & Joshua left.

Den we went to watch Simpson..

Wahahas.

it's so cutee & entertaining.

yepps.

ohh.

ii really wanna say..

erhhs.

ii realisied ii alwayys smack & wack u guys leh.

hahas.

ii felt guilty le.

iim hoping that it's not too late for me to dissepline my lil' hand a bit.

hehs.

im sorry!!

.

den went home.

yeps.

once again.

ii had diff thinkings bout relationshiip le.

yeah~

let natural take it's cost.

(got such thingy?)

yar.

.

den.

ii realised smth fun & intresting!

in delirious?[a band of 5 hunks]

only 1 guy iis not related to any1 of em.

wahah.

e rest iis all related thur marriage.

1 of e guys had 3 sis.

den e other 3 guys married each of e sisters..!!

lol!

godz,lykdat also can.

so cool.

& Martin Smith,who iis e lead singer .SHUAI!.

iis married to e sister called Anna.

& have got 5 children.

so cool luhhs.

ii lyk DELIRIOUS?!

.

sian sian.

tmr iis monday.

sch so dead.

aft that got rehasal.

.

God is Good,

All e time.

All e time,

God is Good.

___ii want more of your presence,Lord.