sad.

''sad?

haiiz....

dunno since when....

our relationship truns so sour...

does iit means that our friendship iis so damn weak?

does iit means that ii really dun means alot to you?

erms...

sometimes....

it's really a better choice to stay unknown for serveral stuff...

things won't always turns out lyk wad u wanted or expected...

prepare for e 'worst'....

but still..

there's always sumthing even more unbearable then e 'worst'...

.

im upset.

when ii read her blog..

ii jus failed to catch wads she's thinking...

maybe...

she jus never will put me iin her thoughts iin wadever she do...?

that's e lousiest things ii can think of now...

.

[["so sick of lyf, im only living for dance. there's nothing i can find to live for=/"]]

that's wad writen iin her blog..

it brokes my heart...

ii dunno wads wrong..

for nuts.

terrible..

ii jus feel terrible. still.

.

even after the talk wiif leen.

yes..

ii understands...

totally do...

ii thought about iit seriously last night...

ii know wad ii really want...

butt...

but...

butt...

fiine~

no more BUTS kz..

.

i was seriously stuned by wad she told me..

for that moment...

ii even doupts iif ii really knew her...

one of my presious..

do u know how frightening that was?

it's jus lyk a threat.

a real bad one.

then problems dun lie wiif anyone..

is that fine?

ii dun want anything to be shaken...

the best iis..

to go back to wad we once are...

ii keep giving myself excuses for wad had been done..

it's not healthy...

how ii wish..

ii did not ask you anything that day...

.

.

.

things are jus crul...

wad was done was done..

am ii really desperate lyk wad u say?

she made me real upset as well..

ii bet u will do e same iif u was me...

u dun know how much ii put iin for this~

iit means lots to me...

u won't understand~

ii jus simply feel terrible...

by wad u told me...

omg..

ii guess ii really gotto giive up on hiim aready~

iim sad~

real sad...

ii have to giive up..

when ii haven even do anything or tryy~

really upset~

ii feel so terrible~

lyk e end of e world~

ii bet my dream would come true~

can ii still do anything?

why must all these happen to me so many tyms??

haiiz~

miserable~

sad?``

Sad?

had a dream last niight...

which made me tear and tear iin my sleep~

cannot really remeber e detail..

but roughly...

TERRIFIED and fearful that it might become real...

ii pray hard....

and real hard....

that iit's will NEVER come true~

ii was always afaird of such things happening..

this iis real bad...

iif it ever happen to aniione~

imagine...

e guy that u really iin love wiif..

really crazy about...

telling ur real best frwn...

that he lyks her...

iin e presense of YOU~!

omg..

please~

Dun't happen to me!

ii almost stop breathing...

thankGod..

it's just a dream..!

.

.

anyway..

went to cycle at pasir ris park jus now...

kiinda fun...

fly a kite too..

not really high up~

erms...

head to compass point aft that to collect bro's photo...

Tired~

siicked of e fact that tmr still gotto head down to sch iin early morn for band~

SICKED of waking up early...

siian ahs~

.

yes.

im still missing hiim~

miss him

Tired.

came back from Cellgroup kiinda late~

at 1am bahhs

erms...

it's good..

aft that went bedok for fellowship..

hahas...

know wad...

went 7-eleven on Alvan's bike...

ii love iit~!

so fun!

fetch me agaiin..!

so shiok on e biike...

aniiway..

ii loves e feelings on biike...

feel as iif im drifting....

so niice...

yahh..

aniiwayy...

ermms...

ii miiss hiim''!

ii dun want to miiss him!

dun feel good...

haiiz...

dun really wiish to gett any more dissapointments..~

had enough of iit...

but ii jus so crazy about him!

hahas....

but i really know...

it really need mericals to make us together...

low low percentage..

haiiz~

but why not look on e better side?

even iif only have jus 1%...

ii still won't want to give up~!

POSITIVE . POSITIVE

it has been through such a long tym...

then iim really sure of wad ii feel...

n began to face my own heart...

ii won't let my feelings towards u cease so easily...

merical do happens...right?

giive iit a try.......Why not?

ii jus simply liike u~

uh huh~

woots~

woken up by ophe's call.

scare me to hell when she suddenly riing me up...

sounds troubled...

erms...

sumthing intresting happened~

lols~

gave some advices~

haiiz...

but so siian...

ii helped people..

ii ownself can't settle my own problems~

=((

haiiz....

once agaiin backed to those kiind of siick liife~

iit's not really a good thiing to fiind sumone to liike~

having a hard tym...

=.=

why am ii given false hope?

arghs``

lets forget iit bahhs~

=)

iit will make me feel better~!

lets hope for e better bahhs....

he's far too moronic to know my feelings toward hiim!

Be ture wiif ur own feelings please~

same goes to ophe~

since he can be true to himself~

let's be true to ourselves~

okiies?

Cheers~

*wiinks

Back frm chalet!

I LOVE 2G'2oo6

Wakakas~

im back from class chalet~

wonderful?
everything's so wonderful.....?

nahhs...

not really..

nth iis perfect duh~

but seriously did had a great tym~

love iit~

never forget this dayy~

beside having fun~

we had FUN!

lols?

hahas...

went for band earlier dat day...

then zhian and ii took mers down....

iit took him $9..

Sorry!

really got not enough bucks~!

pay u on saturday lahhs...

erms...

then reached there at bout 1plus~

adagio and jiiexiin are still late iin e end...

supposed to meet em at 1pm.

then change to 1.30pm..

nvm...

then met e rest of em...

checked iin...

went iin....

yahh....

then the few of us went out to shop for BBQ food...

JOLLY SHANDY~

thanks to Ben.....

he bought 1/4 dosen of it..

then ii BOUGHT 1 from hiim....

(stingy ass ahs?)

lols~

then kanna pang seh by jx n adagio....

aniiway it's expected...

lols...nahhz..

ii dun really mind~

cos damn used to iit le...

hahas.jk

btw...

supposingly..

we planed to go escape theme park..

but so sad,it's not yet open!

2,TWO more days!!

wahs~

ii longed to go escape theme park....

wth lahhs...

follow e calander...~~

wth...18 of nov then iis sch holi..

kios..retard~

then aft dat...

we went to e park to cycle...

ii love iit~

so niice~

buts..

bad things do happens..

jiiexin n xuanle fell on e double bike....

got their knees injured...

soon~

at 5.00pm.

we started to start e fire...

guess how long we took?

2 1/2 hours~

we've broke e record...!

aniiway~

ii love e tym when we setting up e fire

it's so fun!

that's e most fun tym for me iin e whole chalet~!

(ii feel so xing Fu~><)

wakakas...

during e tym....

iim e only girl who set e fire~

man huhs~hahas

ii believed all who helped...

shed blood n sweats~

haha...

ii got myself burnt by e flying fire flakes..

still got scars wors~

so sorry!

when ii fanning e burning charcole

(as they are hot)lols

one small piece of burning char fell onto mel's feet...

^.^sry~

felt guilty~

aft that...

at about 7.30pm..

then we started cooking...

ii went out to buy e medicent for him.

as well as e rest of em who got injured.

quite a number of em.

some got burnt.

some fell.

ophe came along...

then walked pass Amy's cake shop.

decided to buy a small tiny cake for e bdae girl.

YingYinG!!

Happy Birhtday to you~

At about 8 plus~

Kuan and Benice came..

chat wiif Benice....

keep making fun of kuan...

then they left....

actually they are fun teachers~

during e BBQ..

we filled e water bombs....

played a lil during that tym...

got myself damn WET..

because of hiim....

know wad~

ii took e who container,for ice.

filled wiif water....

wanna pour iit at him...

ended up getting myself even more WET...

that thing iis heavy kz...

so e water ended up on myself....

lols...

had great fun..

then aft that supposed to go beach play e bomb.

then aft few of us go send ophe off..

then because of dunno wad...

e rest of e ass never wait for us...

then all e bomb gone...

we left wiif shit~

nvm....

had fun while filling up e bomb enough le..

=))

back to chalet.

bathe...

lols,we really took that long?

the guys say 3 of us,

(shiying.jiiexiin.me)

took 2 hours to bathe~

3 person lehhs~

okiies....

then aft that rest awhile....

(ii cannot forget that very moment when we crossed our eyes~)

>.<

then went mac.

went back.

sleep.

went mac again.

went back.

go walk walk.

went back.

sleep.

all e way untill 6.45am...

when we go to e beach...

heard that mel n xuan never sleep....

wahhs...

really power~

ii think ii slept e most wiithin they all...=X

lols...

heyys...ii went for band iin e morn..

and did 5 rounds of morn run kz~

then.

Jeanette.Xuanle.Mel.Me

went for breakfast at mac.

supposingly to ride bike.

but ended up eating hotcakes!

aniiwayy..

had a great tym...

but so sad.ophe not around.

aft that..

took 88 home...

ii slept on e bus!

miissed 7,SEVEN stops!

*acted blur*

took bus BACK...

omg~

wad am ii going to do??

ii found myself falling iin love wiif hiim 10 tym more aft this 2 days~!!

.

ignore me!lols

...

wahahas~

fiinally got e photos we took when we go jane's hs...

jus swam...

so haiir damn messy~!

erms....

quite sumtyms ago le...

let me checkkk.it's on

o7.11.o6

May.Joes.Ophe.Jiiexiin

Sweet us~ ><

Humps~! Giirl' s POWER~!

SmiLE~! =))

omg...how come ii have such a retarded frwn?? (ophe,of couse~)

wakkas`

wakakas...

it's indeed a tired day for my liips...

we did...

The Hymn Of Sun,with the beat of mother Earth

iszzit e collect name?

lols....

ii LOVE that piiece...

so niice...

but very hard..

e hardest one iin all thouse piece...

yupps....

Wakakakas~~~

ii saw hiim today....

& chated wiif hiim over sms~

hehex...

happpii~

Heyys XY.....

he's really werid mehh?

btw...

today got to know e result for e-streaming....

erms...

it's all wad ii expected...

3F...

ehiich ii dun really lyk...

ii miiss 2G~

muacks~

ii won't forgot e tym we had together as one~..

=((

ermms...

Yes~

thiink positive...

ii hope so?

ii felt sour...

aft the conversation wiif aunty mich...

the Conclusion iis...... :

[[ ii make Musiic for passiion~ Even iif musiic would not exist iin e world the next day,ii will still make Musiic Todayy ]] says:
maybe
[[ ii make Musiic for passiion~ Even iif musiic would not exist iin e world the next day,ii will still make Musiic Todayy ]] says:
ii try to put more sugar...
[[ ii make Musiic for passiion~ Even iif musiic would not exist iin e world the next day,ii will still make Musiic Todayy ]] says:
iif cannot put honey
[[ ii make Musiic for passiion~ Even iif musiic would not exist iin e world the next day,ii will still make Musiic Todayy ]] says:
iif still cannot...
[[ ii make Musiic for passiion~ Even iif musiic would not exist iin e world the next day,ii will still make Musiic Todayy ]] says:
ii put chilli..
[[ ii make Musiic for passiion~ Even iif musiic would not exist iin e world the next day,ii will still make Musiic Todayy ]] says:
at lease it's better

SMILE....

although not easy..

let's hope for the better....

tmr got band...

ii m stressed out~

ii hope ii got people on my siide.....

heart broken

ii took a nap stairght after ii wrote e previous post...

ii soaked my pillow wiif tears...

ii thouht ii won't be that affected...

iin thiis sense...

it's purely talking bout friendshiip...

ii really thought we can be friend...

but ii was heart broken to know the fact that ii was just a dust to hiim...

no one will understand how ii feel..

it's not wad u all thiink...

so please dun make anii conclusion....

ii won't be goiing back....

so...plaese dun worry..

u will stay...

stop skiipping svc...

because ii won't be going

...

ii am really tired....

so friends...

let this be a past okiie??

FUCK

Oh miine~

wtF.....

ii had never seen such a person iin my whole bloody liife......

ii cannot believe my own ears.....

oh please....

the previous few blog doesn't mean that way....

althought ii also dunno wad f...ing hell ii was doiing...

let me tell you thiis...

iim not going to hid aniithiing...

iin fact iis ii've never hiidden anythiing...

SUPER DAMN PISSED OFF~

whatever shit ii heard iis not true....

let me make this clear...

i've got no more feelings for him...

since long long tym ago SERIOUSLY...

okiie??

ii've got people telliing and asking me these...

"omg..u still lyk hiim??"

"aiiya,dun care bout hiim lahhs.."

"forget bout hiim lahhs.."

"ii dun thiink you should make a respond.."

WHAT U WANT ME TO DO?

what ii wanna say iis....

everythiing its not true......

ii m goiing to let thiis past okiie????

ii once thought we can become friends...

but dreams shattered...

it never come true for even once...

can't you have a simpler mindset?

ii never hated hiim at all.....(seriously)

Untill Today.....

--ii dun understand why...why you have to announce people's stuff to others??

band...

aniiwayy..

ii will be throwing away every siingle thoughts regarding hiim away~

to make my liife iin band easier~

ii believed he can means nothiing to me at all after some tym~

ii won't be so afected by whatever shiit he does~

*ii had deleted all of hiis stuff aniiwayy..

to make hiim totally out of my liife~

No more Friends~

-being hash to myself iis good sometiimes~

Broken dream~heh

Broken Dreams~

___hehs..

erms...

what actually happened was......

hahas~

ii saw a guyy....

aniiwayy,went to Vivo City once agaiin~

yes..!

ii was kiinda siick wiif iit le bahhs...

butt iis my bro need to gett hiis blazer...

that's y we go there...yeah~

aniiwayy~

at e shopp named,Domanchii...

where my bro gett hiis blazer....

thiis group of guyys appeared~

1 of e shop tender iis theiir frwn ii suppose......

wakakas....

then got thiis guyy...

whiich caught my attentiion man...

lols...

he's kiind of cute..??

ermms...

ii guess they are around their 17.18 s?

yepps~

hahas...

e storyy ends~

but not e dreamy thiingyy....nth much actually~(-_-)

hehes....

jus that on e way back,iin e car...

ii slept...for e sake of dreaming...

lols~! (iim not a pervert okiies~)

hahas...

then soon reached home....

then e sweet dream was broken...

yeahs~

lols....

butt horrs...

ii thiink ii saw thiis guyy before e other tym...

also at Vivo?

ehh

erms...

wad can ii say about today lehhs....

Tired...but faiir enough....

still good....

Had band iin e morning....

erhhs...

not too bad....

DiingXiiang came to teach...

but due to very late sleep at niight....

ii jus couldn't concentrate for nuts lahhs....

erms....very sleepy.....

then during e horn 'lesson'...

ii kept on goiing iin n outt to e toiilets for bout 3. 4 tyms bahhs ii thiink...

go wash face mahhs....

my eye liids lyk weighing a ton at that moment...

ohh yahhh~

We're doiing Paris Sketches...!

ehhs....ii thiink iis because ii was feeling real tired today...

then my ears everythiing nott workiing normally....

haiiz~!

so ii can't really comment on iit....hehex...

cos couldn't really remember wads it lyk....lols...

okiie...wanna gett iit frm Er....

butt ii thiink ii will prefer iit more thwn Belkiis** =D

okiies....& btw...

ii left band at 4.15pm...

whiich supposiingly ending at 5pm...

erms...to rush down for service~

everythiing still faiir enough....

let me tell u...

it's VERY tired & sleepy....

rushiing down to somewhere aft a WHOLEDAY of hard work~

errms....almost fell asleep on e traiin...

aniiway..ii left so early...

butt still late for 25mins....

wentt iin at 5.30pm...

still manage to siit wiif e rest of em...

yupps....

AND....

ii was so suprised too....

know wad...

it's arise & Built 3 (iif im not wrong)

erms...dortt of pledging day today...

cannot believe iit myself too....

ii pledge...!

aniiway...

ii jus really hope that everythiing could go back to wad iit used to be...

good & fiine~

No trouble No nothiing....

(at lease ii was happii at that tym~)

better?

ermss....

ii thiink today feel much better??

erms....spend my day iin e liibary wiif xy....

suprisingly....

ii slept at 5+6am....

wiithout e help of my *dead Alarm clock....

whiich iis my hp..

ii work up at 10.30am sharp!!

Whiich ii supposing meeting pork n adagiio at 11am....

erms.....

butt ended up goiing alone...

cos adagiio goiing wiif her mummie...

n pork ii din't gett to see her....

due to my *dead hp....

(btw...it drops iinto e pool n was dead for a moment...but it's alive now..)

yupps....

erhhs....

e stay iin e liibary....

& partly due to e conversatiion between Siimon n me....

Cheered me up~~!! Congrattss!!

ii fiinally feel tired at thiis hour...

after quite a few days of 'shi miian'....

Woohz~

liike wiise....

Take thiings liightly~~

wad ii learn though e conversatiion wiif siimon....

Yeah~~

wakakas...

good news yeah~

okiies bahhz....

tmr got band....

haiiz.....

then aftt band....erhhhsss...

kiinda siian lehhs....

aniiway~loves musiic lotts!!

Argh

Look at e tym now~!

and you'll know one thiing....

whiich iis........

Hurray~

ii can't sleep agaiin.....

aniiway...

hahas....

ii got no tym to 'thiink too much'

ii m getting myself real busy...

hehx....

readiing blogs n so on....

oh yahh...

whiile readiing SweeChoo's blogg...

ii discover thiis....

Take This Quiz -" http://www.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=061102155834-677313& "

--wiif e "&" too...but dunno why can't....--

aniiway try thiis ="Quiz"=

wakakas.....

thiis show how many ppl actually cares bout my post...(no hard feelings)

thiis can shows how much my frwns know me....

hehex....

haiiiz....-->

aniiway....

haven decide wether to slp anot...

cos iif ii sleep now...

thiink can't wake up liiao....

later still gotto go to sch collect report book...

meeting adagio n pork at 11am....

erms....still got 6 more hours to go...

dunno can take iit anot mahh lehhs...

AGRHH~~

nvm bahhs...

see how lorr...

later my head explode]]

hahas

ii dunno y!

ii dunno why..!

ii dunno why..!

ii dunno why..!

haiiz...

thiis few day...

jus dunno wad went wrong my miind...

ii jus can't sleep for nuts...

ii dun feel good..

really dun feel good...

how ii wiish~~

how ii really wiish~

(what e hell am ii doiing man...?Btw....)

ii dunno wad to say seriously....

who can hellp me lehh??

no idea...

today ii triied my very best...

ii went to swiim...

to try to let go of all e troubles...

but ii understands 1 thiing today..

it's really not as wasy as ii thiink..

ii really dunno why ii am so trouble by thiis...

ii really want to try wad xy told...

jus DUN THINK too much.....

but it's NOT EASY!

ii tried....

but ii failed too...

0.O

+tryiing to burry my own feelings...

walking zombiie failed to cheer up..

awee...

=(( . :_(

awee.....

omg...wads so wrong man....

thiis iis e very fiirst tym ever ii diislyk so much to go band....

very sad lehhs....

hmm...

erhs....

know wad...

ii really very hou hui.....

iin e sense that ii 'used' to want hiim to come back agaiin....

butt...

ii realised that it has created me so much trouble....

ii feel so awful...

seriously...

dunno how to descriibe....

ii dun wanna say le lahhs....

the more ii say the more iirriitated ii gett....

*fed up*